All I’m saying is, the house doesn’t fill up with fruit flies when I buy cookies…
Author: Bob Tozier
Narnia
I asked the lion what he was doing in my wardrobe. He said Narnia business.
Sugar
The doctor said my sugar was too high. When I got home, I moved it to a lower shelf; it’s much more accessible now.
Can’t Even
I asked my son why teenage girls always walk in groups of 3, 5, or 7. He said that is such an odd joke. I replied, No. It is because they literally can’t even.
Elevator
My first experience using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
Iron
I apologize for my clothes being wrinkly. I am suffering from an iron deficiency.
Thanks for nothing, English
Incapable = not capable.Inflammable = flammable.Invaluable = very valuable.Thanks for nothing English.
Fired
I just got fired from my new job for asking customers if they preferred smoking or non-smoking… Apparently, the correct question at the funeral home is: cremation or burial.
Both
I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Never estimate me.
Chip
I was fired from Pringles. They said that l had a chip on my shoulders.