Author: Bob Tozier

What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?

I haven’t seen you for a year!

What’s a spider’s New Year’s resolution?

To spend less time on the web.

Why did Rudolph have to attend summer school? Because he went down in history.

What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit? A mistle-toad.

Why are mummies such big fans of Christmas? Because they enjoy wrapping.

Why did the Little Drummer Boy put his drum to bed? It was beat.

What do you call an old snowman? Water.

What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face.”

How did the reindeer learn to play piano? He was elf-taught.

What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.