Tozier.net

Author: Bob Tozier

  • S’more

    Breaking News:
    Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and the Teddy Grahams Bear have all perished in a fire

    S’more at 11

  • stationery

    Just a reminder, no matter how hard you push the envelope, 

    it will always be stationery.

  • The Block

    Got up this morning and ran around the block 5 times. then I got tired, so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.

  • The Glove

    I invented the glove.

    OK, I’m lying.
    But I did have a hand in it. 

  • Poetry Club

    I started a poetry club in prison.

    It had prose and cons

  • Raised Differently

    In Britain, it’s called a lift, but Americans call it an elevator. I guess we were just raised differently.

  • His Bike

    My dog kept chasing people on a bike, so I took his bike away. Then he just sat there in the yard and barked all day. So I gave him his bike back, because his bark was worse than his bike.

  • Thyme

    I had a friend who was always late until his doctor recommended sleeping in a herb garden.

    Now he wakes up on thyme.

  • oar

    THERE WAS A BIG SALE ON PADDLES AT THE BOAT STORE IT WAS QUITE AN OAR DEAL.

  • Fanta Of The Opera

    Orange soda was served during intermission at the Fanta of the Opera performance