Tozier.net

Blog

  • Spell

    I don’t know if the lady in front of me at Starbucks is ordering coffee or Casting a Spell.

  • Elastic

    I don’t know if my pants are feeling loose because I’m losing weight, or the elastic is finally giving up the fight.

  • Box Of Snakes

    What’s worse than a box full of snakes?
    A box that’s supposed to be full of snakes!

  • Thought

    I thought about being productive today and it’s the thought that counts.

  • Shovel

    The shovel was a groundbreaking invention, but it was the broom that really swept the nation.

  • Reverse Psychology

    I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Please do not buy it.

  • Where it’s at

    Geology rocks. But geography is where it’s at.

  • Potato

    No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

  • Marathon

    “I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through a marathon”

  • Walk a Mile

    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.