Author: Bob Tozier

I asked the lion what he was doing in my wardrobe.

He said Narnia business.

The doctor said my sugar was too high.

When I got home, I moved it to a lower shelf; it’s much more accessible now.

I asked my son why teenage girls always walk in groups of 3, 5, or 7. He said that is such an odd joke. I replied, No. It is because they literally can’t even.

I apologize for my clothes being wrinkly. I am suffering from an iron deficiency.

Incapable = not capable.
Inflammable = flammable.
Invaluable = very valuable.
Thanks for nothing English.

I just got fired from my new job for asking customers if they preferred smoking or non-smoking…

Apparently, the correct question at the funeral home is: cremation or burial.

I am both dumber and smarter than you think.

Never estimate me.