Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk!
Author: Bob Tozier
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Asking For A Friend
When stirring up trouble, do you start in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction?
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Reverse Psychology
He eagerly signed up for the Reverse Psychology course, but was surprised to find that day one was the final exam.
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Opportunist
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, The Opportunist.
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Problems
Yesterday I saw a book called “How to solve half of your problems.”
So I bought two. -
Pear
I gave my neighbor a plum, but he said he’d prefer a pear. So I gave him another plum.
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exercise
I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
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Not a Big Fan
I recently visited the “World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine” exhibit.
Honestly, not a big fan. -
Hamburger
Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
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Contacts
Cop pulls me over
Cop: Your license says you should be wearing glasses?
Me: I have contacts.
Cop: I don’t care who you know!