Tozier.net

Author: Bob Tozier

  • Tea Shirt

    I got kicked out of the coffee club
    I wore a tea shirt.

  • cheesy

    I try to tell cheesy jokes, but everyone around me is laughtose intolerant.

  • Obi Wan

    Doctor: Hi, I’m Juan, and I’ll be delivering your baby.
    Me: OB Juan, you’re our only hope.
    My wife: Leave his name off the birth certificate.

  • A Person Fell

    Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of a nightclub over the weekend was not a bouncer. 

  • Toothbrush

    Why did the toothbrush cross the road?

    … to get a change of paste.

  • Very Sage Words

    NEVER EVER TRADE SPICE for rocks.

    In other words, do not take thyme for granite.

  • soup

    I decided to eat lunch outside, but it started raining. It took me two hours to finish my soup.

  • Where?

    I told my wife I saw a wolf on the way to work this morning.

    She asked where, and I said no, the regular kind of wolf.

  • Nunsense

    I saw a nun trip and fall today.

    I did what anyone would do… I ran to a sister.

  • Decaf

    My doctor told me I need to switch to decaf coffee.

    It’s gonna be a tough switch for me, I’ve been going to that doctor for years.