Tozier.net

Author: Bob Tozier

  • Jenny

    Did you know that the song “Jenny, Jenny” is so popular that it has been played 8,675,309 times.

  • Dark

    why is dark spelled with a ‘k’ and not a ‘c’?

    because you cannot ‘c’ in the dark.

  • Universal Remote

    It was a sad and very disappointing day when I learned that my Universal Remote Control did not in fact control the Universe.

    Not even remotely. 

  • Courage & Stupidity

    Courage is knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway.

    Stupidity is the same.
    And that’s why life is hard.

  • Run but no hide

    To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and my flip-flops…
    You can hide, but you can’t run!

  • Your Prime Years

    Nothing’s better than being 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97 years old.
    Those are the years that you’re in your prime.

  • Cardio

    If I refuse to do a cardio workout, is that considered resistance training?

  • Numbers

    I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 as Roman numerals!

    IM LIVID.

  • Phew

    How many skunks does it take to make a stink?

    Just a phew.

  • Thinner

    I went down to the paint store to get thinner.
    It didn’t work.
    I’m still fat.