Tozier.net

Author: Bob Tozier

  • PushUp

    I did a pushup today!

    Well, actually, I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get up, so… you know. Close enough.

  • Snakes

    What’s worse than a box full of snakes?

    A box that was supposed to be full of snakes.

  • Corn

    Why is KFC corn so smooth?
    They use Kernel Sanders

  • Woodpecker

    A woodpecker visited the Petrified Forest.

    He found it impeccable.

  • What does Bob Have Now?

    Bob has 39 candy bars. He eats 29 candy bars. What does Bob have now? … Diabetes

  • Talk To Yourself

    I hate it when I’m talking to myself and suddenly realize I wasn’t paying attention, and then I have to start all over.

  • Life Choices

    In a span of 17 years, 114 people died in accidents while at the gym.

    In the same 17 years, only one man died while eating a donut.

    Life is about the choices you make.

  • Ability To Speak

    The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

  • Procrastinators

    Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet. 

  • Meeting

    If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. 
    We’re having a meeting.