Author: Bob Tozier

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frost-bite.

What does a caterpillar do on January 1?

Turns over a new leaf.

Why is partying in Times Square overrated? 

Because they drop the ball every year.

How did Prince celebrate the new millennium? 

He partied like it was 1999.

Breaking News:
Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and the Teddy Grahams Bear have all perished in a fire

S’more at 11

Just a reminder, no matter how hard you push the envelope, 

it will always be stationery.

Got up this morning and ran around the block 5 times. then I got tired, so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.

I invented the glove.

OK, I’m lying.
But I did have a hand in it. 

I started a poetry club in prison.

It had prose and cons

In Britain, it’s called a lift, but Americans call it an elevator. I guess we were just raised differently.