Tozier.net

Author: Bob Tozier

  • Coin a Phrase

    Whoever came up wit ha penny for your thoughts, don’t nickel and dime me, and another day another dollar sure knew how to coin a phrase.

  • ICY

    I’ve often heard that “icy” is the easiest word to spell.

    Looking at it now, I see why.

  • A Duck Crosses the road

    A duck was about to cross the road when he was stopped by a chicken. The chicken told the duck not to do it. You will never hear the end of it.

  • Archaeologist

    Husband: The nerve of that doctor. Saying I’m so old that he referred me to an archaeologist.
    Wife: Audiologist, dear. You can’t hear.

  • Vampires and Mirrors

    I wonder how many vampires have been run over by people who back up using only their mirrors…

  • Geneticists

    Geneticists are currently trying to cross a cheetah with a crab. I feel like this could go sideways really fast.

  • Secrets

    There are two secrets for success:

    1) Don’t reveal all of your secrets

  • Gym

    It’s been six months since I joined the gym and no progress.

    I’m gonna go in person tomorrow to see what’s really going on

  • Elemelons

    Watermelons suggests the existence of Earthmelons, Firemelons, and Airmelons.
    The Elemelons, if you will.

  • exercise every day

    Some people exercise every day.
    I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.