A sloth could have been chasing you for the past 6 years and you would never know it…
Author: Bob Tozier
Tour Bus
A tour bus going to Elvis’s Graceland mansion has crashed. No one injuries, but the passengers were all shook up.
Rain
I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.How am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?
Fire
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. ~ Fire Marshall Bill
Highlighter
One day I’m going to start collecting highlighters. Mark my words!
Nickel
If I had a nickel for every math exam I failed, I’d have 43 cents.
Fridge
Why is there No “D” in Refrigerator, Yet There is One in “Fridge”
Vivaldi
I got chatting to this woman at the bus-stop this morning and she told me that people call her Vivaldi.I asked her: “Is that because you’re a brilliant violinist?”She said: “No, it’s because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi.“
Idiot
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
Problems
Problems my generation were told to fear that were way overblown:• Quicksand• Getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle Problems no one ever warned us about:• Arguing with robots over “unexpected item in bagging area” • Remembering 147 passwords