Bob Tozier – Page 4

Tossed and Turned

I ate a rotisserie chicken and a salad for dinner. I tossed and turned all night.

Imagine if spiders screamed when you found them!

I ACCIDENTALLY PAID FOR MY MEAL with my organ donor card. My dinner cost me an arm and a leg.

I have been working on a Scandinavian joke. It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now, there is just Norway.

Just choked on an apple seed. This is what I get for trying to eat healthy. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups don’t pull this nonsense.

If you don’t know what to talk about on a first date, try mentioning Global Warming It’s a huge Icebreaker

A guy knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool… I gave him a glass of water.

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

Some of the younger pirates have difficulty relating to the older ones. It’s likely due to the gen arrrrr ation gap.

Imagine how noisy centipedes would be if they wore tiny flip flops.