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I love the phrase “bear with me” because it either means “be patient” or “the zoo heist was a success” 🐻

I was afraid I’d lost my sense of humor but it was just an irony deficiency

The doctor said my sugar was too high.

When I got home, I moved it to a lower shelf; it’s much more accessible now.

My donkey had a fever, so I took him to the EEEEEE RRRRER.

Not to brag, but I just got hired as a fitness model.

They used me as the “before” picture.

To be frank, l’d have to change my name.

A pun is not completely mature until it’s full groan.

what’s Harry Potter‘s favorite way of getting down a hill?

walking…. JK Rolling