If you’re asking me for advice, I’m going to assume you’re out of all other rational options.
Blog
-
Ostrich
An ostrich will often walk around and then forget where they’re going. Never before have I related to an animal so much.
-
Sloth
A sloth could have been chasing you for the past 6 years and you would never know it…
-
Tour Bus
A tour bus going to Elvis’s Graceland mansion has crashed. No one injuries, but the passengers were all shook up.
-
Rain
I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.
How am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden? -
Fire
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
~ Fire Marshall Bill
-
Highlighter
One day I’m going to start collecting highlighters.
Mark my words!
-
Nickel
If I had a nickel for every math exam I failed, I’d have 43 cents.
-
Fridge
Why is there No “D” in Refrigerator, Yet There is One in “Fridge”
-
Vivaldi
I got chatting to this woman at the bus-stop this morning and she told me that people call her Vivaldi.
I asked her: “Is that because you’re a brilliant violinist?”
She said: “No, it’s because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi.“