Tozier.net

Blog

  • Elevator

    My first experience using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.

  • Iron

    I apologize for my clothes being wrinkly. I am suffering from an iron deficiency.

  • Thanks for nothing, English

    Incapable = not capable.
    Inflammable = flammable.
    Invaluable = very valuable.
    Thanks for nothing English.

  • Fired

    I just got fired from my new job for asking customers if they preferred smoking or non-smoking…

    Apparently, the correct question at the funeral home is: cremation or burial.

  • Both

    I am both dumber and smarter than you think.

    Never estimate me.

  • Chip

    I was fired from Pringles. They said that l had a chip on my shoulders.

  • Dropping

    I can’t believe I keep dropping things. It’s gotten out of hand.

  • Coin

    Whoever came up with“a penny for your thoughts”, “don’t nickel and dime me”, and “another day another dollar”
    sure knew how to coin a phrase.

  • Charades

    The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

  • Teeth

    I never understood why a set of false teeth is called “dentures”.

    They really missed an opportunity to call it “substitooths”