Tozier.net

Blog

  • Tirelessly

    I heard on the news that some guy was stealing wheels off police cars. The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

  • Trail Mix

    I made a playlist for hiking. it has music from The Peanuts, The Cranberries and Eminem. I call it my Trail mix.

  • Tuba

    Scuba- self-contained underwater, breathing apparatus

    Tuba- terrible underwater, breathing apparatus 

  • Color

    I always wondered about the difference between “grey” and “gray”. “Grey” is a colour. While “gray” is a color.

  • Chameleon

    I’m walking through the jungle and happen upon a clearing with this lizard telling jokes. I stopped and listened for a couple minutes and said to the tribesman next to me “Hey, this lizard’s pretty funny.” So the tribesman says “that’s no lizard. That’s a stand up chameleon.”

  • Kidney

    Why do people love you if you donate a kidney, but if you donate five kidneys, they call the police?

  • Poisonous Snake

    Last words of a highly poisonous snake: “Drat, I bit myself on the tongue!”

  • Poetry Club

    I started a poetry club for prisoners. We called it “Prose and cons”

  • Tom Sawyer

  • Sound Effects

    No one tells you that with age comes sounds effects when you get out of a chair!