Tozier.net

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  • Grape

    What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing…it just let out a little wine.

  • Shark

    A guy at the beach was yelling, “Help, shark, help!”
    I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.

  • Number 1

    How do you make the number one disappear? Just add a G in front of it and it’s gone. 

  • Loop

    I don’t want to be in the loop or out of the loop. I want to be aware of the loop and its contents, but free from any loop-related responsibilities.

  • Dinosaurs

    You could be allergic to dinosaurs and don’t even know it

  • Kale

    Kale is so versatile … it literally fits into any size trash can.

  • Going Out

    I love going outdoors.

    It’s much safer than going out windows.

  • Hippo

    What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
    One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

  • Jedi

    What do you call a Jedi with no eye? Jed.

  • 7 Nation Army