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The other people in this yoga class act like they’ve never seen anyone pull a rotisserie chicken out of a fanny pack before.

The meaning of opaque is unclear to me…

It turns out Bigfoot costumes are surprisingly realistic at 1:00am around the bonfire of a party I wasn’t invited to.

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun

Nothing embarrasses, psychics more than throwing them a surprise party