Your secret’s safe with me because I probably wasn’t listening, and if I was, I’ve already forgotten it.
Blog
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Tirelessly
I heard on the news that some guy was stealing wheels off police cars.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.
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Ma Seuss
What did Dr. Seuss’s mother do for a living? She was a therapist, or a Ma Seuss if you will.
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Mistakes
I told my wife that she needs to embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
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Apollo G
NASH is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. It is called Apollo G
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trick questions
I went to school for magicians but failed the final exam
They were all trick questions
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Butter
If we removed all of the margarine in the world, the world would be a butter place
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Cut It
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
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Dream Job
I would love to get paid to sleep. It would be a dream job.
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Burnt Out
Why did the candle quit its job?