Reverse Psychology

He eagerly signed up for the Reverse Psychology course, but was surprised to find that day one was the final exam.

Opportunist

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Sincerely, The Opportunist.

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Problems

Yesterday I saw a book called “How to solve half of your problems.”So I bought two.

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Pear

I gave my neighbor a plum, but he said he’d prefer a pear. So I gave him another plum.

exercise

I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

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Not a Big Fan

I recently visited the “World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine” exhibit.Honestly, not a big fan.

Hamburger

Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.

Contacts

Cop pulls me over  Cop: Your license says you should be wearing glasses?  Me: I have contacts.  Cop: I don’t care who you know!

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End

It’s alright if you don’t know what a prefix means. It’s not the the end of the word.

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Oz

IF WATCHING ‘THE WIZARD OF OZ’ ON AN absolutely GIGANTIC screen has you freaked out, well… Sphere no more!!

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