Category: Jokes

He who laughs last, thinks slowest

Yesterday I left work pretending to be sick.
Today, two colleagues didn’t show up, saying they caught it from me. liars!

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a minute to realize that they were talking about Autumn and not the collapse of civilization as we know it.

I tried using U2’s new search engine. But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

Your secret’s safe with me because I probably wasn’t listening, and if I was, I’ve already forgotten it.

What did Dr. Seuss’s mother do for a living? She was a therapist, or a Ma Seuss if you will.

I told my wife that she needs to embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.

I went to school for magicians but failed the final exam

They were all trick questions