Tozier.net

Category: Jokes

  • Nickels

    If I had a nickel for every time I used algebra in real life, I’d have x nickels.

  • Zoo

    Apparently to start a zoo you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars. It’s the bear minimum.

  • Peach

    I can’t believe thy someone broke into my house and stole my fruit. I am peachless

  • Duck

    A duck was about to cross the road when he was stopped by a chicken. The chicken told the duck not to do it. You will never hear the end of it.

  • Hertz

    What happens if someone slaps you at high frequency?

    It Hertz.

  • Avoiding shark attacks

    In a list of 10 ways to avoid a shark attack.
    I was surprised to see that:
    Stay out of the water!
    was not on the list.

  • Posting

    I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

  • Nose

    Why does your nose grow in the middle of your face? Well, because it is the SCENTER!

  • Grape

    What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing…it just let out a little wine.

  • Shark

    A guy at the beach was yelling, “Help, shark, help!”
    I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.