Tozier.net

Category: Jokes

  • Lemons

    Unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna be horrible.

  • Seat

    You can remove any letter from the word “seat” and still have a real word.

  • Pin

    What’s the quietest game you can play? Bowling because you can hear a pin drop!

  • Chameleon

    I’m walking through the jungle and happen upon a clearing with this lizard telling jokes. I stopped and listened for a couple minutes and said to the tribesman next to me “Hey, this lizard’s pretty funny.” So the tribesman says “that’s no lizard. That’s a stand up chameleon.”

  • Dad Jokes

    What do you call someone who tells Dad Jokes but isn’t a father? A faux-Pa!

  • Belt

    What did the zero say to the eight 

    ‘Nice belt’

  • Contractions

    A woman in labor yells shouldn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, don’t, can’t. But don’t worry, those are just contractions.

  • Mole

    I asked my doctor if a certain mole looked suspicious. He told me he looked angry and I should put him back where I found him.

  • Aloha

    Hawaiian pizza is my favourite pizza but unfortunately I always burn it. I guess I should have put the oven on aloha setting.

  • Constipation

    You didn’t hear about the new movie, “Constipation?” That’s because it hasn’t come out yet.