Category: Dad Jokes

Scuba- self-contained underwater, breathing apparatus

Tuba- terrible underwater, breathing apparatus 

Why do people love you if you donate a kidney, but if you donate five kidneys, they call the police?

Today I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me… who forget to separate the reds from the whites in the laundry.

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

What is it called when a cow spies on you? A Stakeout

It’s very hard to cheat in my molecular biology class. The professor keeps a close ion us.

I just found out I’m colorblind.

It came completely out of the green.

RULE NUMBER 1 OF CLEANING WHILE LISTENING TO MUSIC: 

THE TOILET BRUSH IS NEVER THE MICROPHONE…

NEVER!

Why did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly.

Because communication is key