Category: Dad Jokes

I love going outdoors.

It’s much safer than going out windows.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

I saw a group of kids throwing Scrabble tiles at each other.

It’s all fun and games until someone loses an I.

Unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna be horrible.

I’m walking through the jungle and happen upon a clearing with this lizard telling jokes. I stopped and listened for a couple minutes and said to the tribesman next to me “Hey, this lizard’s pretty funny.” So the tribesman says “that’s no lizard. That’s a stand up chameleon.”

What do you call someone who tells Dad Jokes but isn’t a father? A faux-Pa!

What did the zero say to the eight 

‘Nice belt’

A woman in labor yells shouldn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, don’t, can’t. But don’t worry, those are just contractions.

I asked my doctor if a certain mole looked suspicious. He told me he looked angry and I should put him back where I found him.