One Liners – Tozier.net

Spell

I don’t know if the lady in front of me at Starbucks is ordering coffee or Casting a Spell.

No one tells you that with age comes sounds effects when you get out of a chair!

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training purposes?

Always remember that you ate unique… just like everyone else.

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An empty fortune cookie is rather unfortunate.

I’m good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 23 things that I’m putting off until later.

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

Sincerely, The Opportunist.

When stirring up trouble, do you start in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction?