Category: Jokes

I did a pushup today!

Well, actually, I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get up, so… you know. Close enough.

What’s worse than a box full of snakes?

A box that was supposed to be full of snakes.

Bob has 39 candy bars. He eats 29 candy bars. What does Bob have now? … Diabetes

I hate it when I’m talking to myself and suddenly realize I wasn’t paying attention, and then I have to start all over.

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet. 

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. 
We’re having a meeting.