Sugar

The doctor said my sugar was too high. When I got home, I moved it to a lower shelf; it’s much more accessible now.

Can’t Even

I asked my son why teenage girls always walk in groups of 3, 5, or 7. He said that is such an odd joke. I replied, No. It is because they literally can’t even.

Elevator

My first experience using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.

Published
Categorized as Jokes

Iron

I apologize for my clothes being wrinkly. I am suffering from an iron deficiency.

Fired

I just got fired from my new job for asking customers if they preferred smoking or non-smoking… Apparently, the correct question at the funeral home is: cremation or burial.

Both

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Never estimate me.

Chip

I was fired from Pringles. They said that l had a chip on my shoulders.

Coin

Whoever came up with“a penny for your thoughts”, “don’t nickel and dime me”, and “another day another dollar”sure knew how to coin a phrase.