How many skunks does it take to make a stink? Just a phew.
Blog
Thinner
I went down to the paint store to get thinner.It didn’t work.I’m still fat.
PushUp
I did a pushup today! Well, actually, I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get up, so… you know. Close enough.
Snakes
What’s worse than a box full of snakes? A box that was supposed to be full of snakes.
Corn
Why is KFC corn so smooth?They use Kernel Sanders
Woodpecker
A woodpecker visited the Petrified Forest. He found it impeccable.
What does Bob Have Now?
Bob has 39 candy bars. He eats 29 candy bars. What does Bob have now? … Diabetes
Talk To Yourself
I hate it when I’m talking to myself and suddenly realize I wasn’t paying attention, and then I have to start all over.
Life Choices
In a span of 17 years, 114 people died in accidents while at the gym. In the same 17 years, only one man died while eating a donut. Life is about the choices you make.
Ability To Speak
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.