Yesterday I left work pretending to be sick.
Today, two colleagues didn’t show up, saying they caught it from me. liars!
Blog
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Liars
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Fall
Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a minute to realize that they were talking about Autumn and not the collapse of civilization as we know it.
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Ana Crusis
Last night I met a young lady when I went out to hear music at a bar. Her name was
Ana Crusis. -
U2
I tried using U2’s new search engine. But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.
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Secret
Your secret’s safe with me because I probably wasn’t listening, and if I was, I’ve already forgotten it.
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Tirelessly
I heard on the news that some guy was stealing wheels off police cars.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.
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Ma Seuss
What did Dr. Seuss’s mother do for a living? She was a therapist, or a Ma Seuss if you will.
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Mistakes
I told my wife that she needs to embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
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Apollo G
NASH is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. It is called Apollo G
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trick questions
I went to school for magicians but failed the final exam
They were all trick questions