The doctor said my sugar was too high.
When I got home, I moved it to a lower shelf; it’s much more accessible now.
Blog
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Can’t Even
I asked my son why teenage girls always walk in groups of 3, 5, or 7. He said that is such an odd joke. I replied, No. It is because they literally can’t even.
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Elevator
My first experience using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
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Iron
I apologize for my clothes being wrinkly. I am suffering from an iron deficiency.
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Thanks for nothing, English
Incapable = not capable.
Inflammable = flammable.
Invaluable = very valuable.
Thanks for nothing English. -
Fired
I just got fired from my new job for asking customers if they preferred smoking or non-smoking…
Apparently, the correct question at the funeral home is: cremation or burial.
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Both
I am both dumber and smarter than you think.
Never estimate me.
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Chip
I was fired from Pringles. They said that l had a chip on my shoulders.
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Dropping
I can’t believe I keep dropping things. It’s gotten out of hand.
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Coin
Whoever came up with“a penny for your thoughts”, “don’t nickel and dime me”, and “another day another dollar”
sure knew how to coin a phrase.