Universal Remote

It was a sad and very disappointing day when I learned that my Universal Remote Control did not in fact control the Universe. Not even remotely. 

Your Prime Years

Nothing’s better than being 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97 years old.Those are the years that you’re in your prime.

Phew

How many skunks does it take to make a stink? Just a phew.

Corn

Why is KFC corn so smooth?They use Kernel Sanders

Woodpecker

A woodpecker visited the Petrified Forest. He found it impeccable.

Pointless

Why do they sell unsharpened pencils? Completely pointless.

Published
Categorized as Dad Jokes

Sighsmograph

To measure the quality of ones puns, you need to use a Sighsmograph.

Rejoiced

When my friend Joyce learned she could clone herself, she rejoiced.

More

My sister was on the phone with me the other day. We were laughing at how we used to be so competitive when we were kids, but I laughed more.