Tozier.net

Category: Dad Jokes

  • Zoo

    Apparently to start a zoo you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars. It’s the bear minimum.

  • Peach

    I can’t believe thy someone broke into my house and stole my fruit. I am peachless

  • Posting

    I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

  • Nose

    Why does your nose grow in the middle of your face? Well, because it is the SCENTER!

  • Grape

    What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing…it just let out a little wine.

  • Shark

    A guy at the beach was yelling, “Help, shark, help!”
    I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.

  • Number 1

    How do you make the number one disappear? Just add a G in front of it and it’s gone. 

  • Loop

    I don’t want to be in the loop or out of the loop. I want to be aware of the loop and its contents, but free from any loop-related responsibilities.

  • Dinosaurs

    You could be allergic to dinosaurs and don’t even know it

  • Kale

    Kale is so versatile … it literally fits into any size trash can.