Category: Dad Jokes

I don’t know if my pants are feeling loose because I’m losing weight, or the elastic is finally giving up the fight.

What’s worse than a box full of snakes?
A box that’s supposed to be full of snakes!

I thought about being productive today and it’s the thought that counts.

The shovel was a groundbreaking invention, but it was the broom that really swept the nation.

I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Please do not buy it.

Geology rocks. But geography is where it’s at.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder, and cook at 350 for 30 minutes.

I heard on the news that some guy was stealing wheels off police cars. The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

I made a playlist for hiking. it has music from The Peanuts, The Cranberries and Eminem. I call it my Trail mix.