Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Sincerely, The Opportunist.
Category: Dad Jokes
Asking For A Friend
When stirring up trouble, do you start in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction?
Pear
I gave my neighbor a plum, but he said he’d prefer a pear. So I gave him another plum.
Not a Big Fan
I recently visited the “World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine” exhibit.Honestly, not a big fan.
Hamburger
Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
Stairs
What does an escalator say when it stops working? Nothing, it just stairs
Narnia
I asked the lion what he was doing in my wardrobe. He said Narnia business.
Sugar
The doctor said my sugar was too high. When I got home, I moved it to a lower shelf; it’s much more accessible now.
Can’t Even
I asked my son why teenage girls always walk in groups of 3, 5, or 7. He said that is such an odd joke. I replied, No. It is because they literally can’t even.
Iron
I apologize for my clothes being wrinkly. I am suffering from an iron deficiency.