Guess What?

You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.

Tea Shirt

I got kicked out of the coffee clubI wore a tea shirt.

cheesy

I try to tell cheesy jokes, but everyone around me is laughtose intolerant.

Obi Wan

Doctor: Hi, I’m Juan, and I’ll be delivering your baby.Me: OB Juan, you’re our only hope.My wife: Leave his name off the birth certificate.

A Person Fell

Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of a nightclub over the weekend was not a bouncer. 

Toothbrush

Why did the toothbrush cross the road? … to get a change of paste.

Very Sage Words

NEVER EVER TRADE SPICE for rocks. In other words, do not take thyme for granite.

soup

I decided to eat lunch outside, but it started raining. It took me two hours to finish my soup.

Where?

I told my wife I saw a wolf on the way to work this morning. She asked where, and I said no, the regular kind of wolf.

Nunsense

I saw a nun trip and fall today. I did what anyone would do… I ran to a sister.