Category: Dad Jokes

I got chatting to this woman at the bus-stop this morning and she told me that people call her Vivaldi.
I asked her: “Is that because you’re a brilliant violinist?”
She said: “No, it’s because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi.“

I ACCIDENTALLY PAID FOR MY MEAL with my organ donor card.

My dinner cost me an arm and a leg.

I have been working on a Scandinavian joke.

It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now, there is just Norway.

Just choked on an apple seed.  This is what I get for trying to eat healthy.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups don’t pull this nonsense.

A guy knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool…

I gave him a glass of water.

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

Some of the younger pirates have difficulty relating to the older ones.

It’s likely due to the gen arrrrr ation gap.