Dad Jokes – Page 12

Tea Shirt

I got kicked out of the coffee club
I wore a tea shirt.

I try to tell cheesy jokes, but everyone around me is laughtose intolerant.

Why did the toothbrush cross the road?

… to get a change of paste.

NEVER EVER TRADE SPICE for rocks.

In other words, do not take thyme for granite.

I told my wife I saw a wolf on the way to work this morning.

She asked where, and I said no, the regular kind of wolf.

I saw a nun trip and fall today.

I did what anyone would do… I ran to a sister.

My doctor told me I need to switch to decaf coffee.

It’s gonna be a tough switch for me, I’ve been going to that doctor for years.

Did you know that the song “Jenny, Jenny” is so popular that it has been played 8,675,309 times.

why is dark spelled with a ‘k’ and not a ‘c’?

because you cannot ‘c’ in the dark.

It was a sad and very disappointing day when I learned that my Universal Remote Control did not in fact control the Universe.

Not even remotely.