Tozier.net

Category: Dad Jokes

  • Right

    My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

    So I packed up my stuff and right.

  • younger pirates

    Some of the younger pirates have difficulty relating to the older ones.

    It’s likely due to the gen arrrrr ation gap.

  • Noisy

    Imagine how noisy centipedes would be if they wore tiny flip flops.

  • micro

    Scientists are working on a small implanted device that randomly emits the sound of a baby chick.

    It’s a microcheep.

  • Survival Tip 101:

    If you are being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.

  • Laughter

    In Laughter, the letter “L” comes first.

    All the other letters come aughter!

  • Cat Medicine

    Got medication to keep my cat from threatening strangers. It’s an anti-hiss-tamine. It is Purrr-fect

  • Sign Language

    I’m currently learning sign language

    So I can tell jokes
    nobody has ever heard.

  • Adjectives

    The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron,

    which is ironic.

  • Right Foot

    If you wear a left shoe on the wrong foot, you are wearing it on the right foot.