Category: Dad Jokes

Got up this morning and ran around the block 5 times. then I got tired, so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.

I invented the glove.

OK, I’m lying.
But I did have a hand in it. 

I started a poetry club in prison.

It had prose and cons

In Britain, it’s called a lift, but Americans call it an elevator. I guess we were just raised differently.

My dog kept chasing people on a bike, so I took his bike away. Then he just sat there in the yard and barked all day. So I gave him his bike back, because his bark was worse than his bike.

Orange soda was served during intermission at the Fanta of the Opera performance

Let’s take a moment to recognize the true heros of the season. Elastic Waistbands

NASH is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. It is called Apollo G

If we removed all of the margarine in the world, the world would be a butter place

I kept telling terrible chicken jokes in the grocery store, so I was sent to 
eggs aisle.