Dad Jokes – Page 9

Iron

I apologize for my clothes being wrinkly. I am suffering from an iron deficiency.

Incapable = not capable.
Inflammable = flammable.
Invaluable = very valuable.
Thanks for nothing English.

I just got fired from my new job for asking customers if they preferred smoking or non-smoking…

Apparently, the correct question at the funeral home is: cremation or burial.

I am both dumber and smarter than you think.

Never estimate me.

I was fired from Pringles. They said that l had a chip on my shoulders.

I can’t believe I keep dropping things. It’s gotten out of hand.

Whoever came up with“a penny for your thoughts”, “don’t nickel and dime me”, and “another day another dollar”
sure knew how to coin a phrase.

I was surprised when my psychic friend complimented me on how I cooked his steak. Getting a “Well done” from a Medium is rare.

A tour bus going to Elvis’s Graceland mansion has crashed. No one injuries, but the passengers were all shook up.

I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.
How am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?