exercise

I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

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Not a Big Fan

I recently visited the “World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine” exhibit.Honestly, not a big fan.

Hamburger

Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.

Contacts

Cop pulls me over  Cop: Your license says you should be wearing glasses?  Me: I have contacts.  Cop: I don’t care who you know!

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End

It’s alright if you don’t know what a prefix means. It’s not the the end of the word.

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Oz

IF WATCHING ‘THE WIZARD OF OZ’ ON AN absolutely GIGANTIC screen has you freaked out, well… Sphere no more!!

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Funny

I woke up laughing today. Must have slept funny.

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Cannonball

I used to work at the circus. I was a human cannonball until they fired me.

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Sails

I just started a business building yachts in my attic… …Sails are going through the roof!

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Survey Crew Ahead

If you see a road sign that says “Survey Crew Ahead” they are not actually interested in your opinion I know that now..

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