Category: Jokes

I’m walking through the jungle and happen upon a clearing with this lizard telling jokes. I stopped and listened for a couple minutes and said to the tribesman next to me “Hey, this lizard’s pretty funny.” So the tribesman says “that’s no lizard. That’s a stand up chameleon.”

What do you call someone who tells Dad Jokes but isn’t a father? A faux-Pa!

What did the zero say to the eight 

‘Nice belt’

A woman in labor yells shouldn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, don’t, can’t. But don’t worry, those are just contractions.

I asked my doctor if a certain mole looked suspicious. He told me he looked angry and I should put him back where I found him.

Hawaiian pizza is my favourite pizza but unfortunately I always burn it. I guess I should have put the oven on aloha setting.

You didn’t hear about the new movie, “Constipation?” That’s because it hasn’t come out yet.

My friend was addicted to the hokey-pokey, it was a rough couple of years, but he turned himself around.

Do you know why giraffes’ heads are so far off the ground? Because they have long necks.