Category: Jokes

What did the zero say to the eight 

‘Nice belt’

A woman in labor yells shouldn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, don’t, can’t. But don’t worry, those are just contractions.

I asked my doctor if a certain mole looked suspicious. He told me he looked angry and I should put him back where I found him.

Hawaiian pizza is my favourite pizza but unfortunately I always burn it. I guess I should have put the oven on aloha setting.

You didn’t hear about the new movie, “Constipation?” That’s because it hasn’t come out yet.

My friend was addicted to the hokey-pokey, it was a rough couple of years, but he turned himself around.

Do you know why giraffes’ heads are so far off the ground? Because they have long necks.

What do you call an injured Batman?

Bruised Wayne.

I sued the airline because my luggage went missing. I lost my case.

Why did the broom go to bed? It was really sweepy.