Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
~ Fire Marshall Bill
Category: Dad Jokes
-
Vivaldi
I got chatting to this woman at the bus-stop this morning and she told me that people call her Vivaldi.
I asked her: “Is that because you’re a brilliant violinist?”
She said: “No, it’s because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi.“ -
Arm and Leg
I ACCIDENTALLY PAID FOR MY MEAL with my organ donor card.
My dinner cost me an arm and a leg.
-
Scandinavian
I have been working on a Scandinavian joke.
It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now, there is just Norway.
-
Apple Seed
Just choked on an apple seed. This is what I get for trying to eat healthy.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups don’t pull this nonsense.
-
Donation
A guy knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool…
I gave him a glass of water.
-
Right
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
-
younger pirates
Some of the younger pirates have difficulty relating to the older ones.
It’s likely due to the gen arrrrr ation gap.