Category: Dad Jokes

why is dark spelled with a ‘k’ and not a ‘c’?

because you cannot ‘c’ in the dark.

It was a sad and very disappointing day when I learned that my Universal Remote Control did not in fact control the Universe.

Not even remotely. 

Nothing’s better than being 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97 years old.
Those are the years that you’re in your prime.

How many skunks does it take to make a stink?

Just a phew.

Why is KFC corn so smooth?
They use Kernel Sanders

A woodpecker visited the Petrified Forest.

He found it impeccable.

To measure the quality of ones puns, you need to use a Sighsmograph.

When my friend Joyce learned she could clone herself, she rejoiced.

My sister was on the phone with me the other day. We were laughing at how we used to be so competitive when we were kids, but I laughed more.