An empty fortune cookie is rather unfortunate.
Category: Dad Jokes
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HAPPY
A genie granted me one wish, so I said “I just want to be happy.”
Now I’m living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.
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multitasking and procrastinating
I’m good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 23 things that I’m putting off until later.
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shenanigan
I’ve shenanied before
…and I’ll shenanigan.
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Glass of Water
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, The Opportunist.
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Asking For A Friend
When stirring up trouble, do you start in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction?
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Pear
I gave my neighbor a plum, but he said he’d prefer a pear. So I gave him another plum.
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Not a Big Fan
I recently visited the “World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine” exhibit.
Honestly, not a big fan. -
Hamburger
Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
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Stairs
What does an escalator say when it stops working?
Nothing, it just stairs