Tozier.net

Category: Jokes

  • Run but no hide

    To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and my flip-flops…
    You can hide, but you can’t run!

  • Your Prime Years

    Nothing’s better than being 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97 years old.
    Those are the years that you’re in your prime.

  • Cardio

    If I refuse to do a cardio workout, is that considered resistance training?

  • Numbers

    I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 as Roman numerals!

    IM LIVID.

  • Phew

    How many skunks does it take to make a stink?

    Just a phew.

  • Thinner

    I went down to the paint store to get thinner.
    It didn’t work.
    I’m still fat.

  • PushUp

    I did a pushup today!

    Well, actually, I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get up, so… you know. Close enough.

  • Snakes

    What’s worse than a box full of snakes?

    A box that was supposed to be full of snakes.

  • Corn

    Why is KFC corn so smooth?
    They use Kernel Sanders

  • Woodpecker

    A woodpecker visited the Petrified Forest.

    He found it impeccable.