If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
Category: Jokes
Problems
Problems my generation were told to fear that were way overblown:• Quicksand• Getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle Problems no one ever warned us about:• Arguing with robots over “unexpected item in bagging area” • Remembering 147 passwords
Tossed and Turned
I ate a rotisserie chicken and a salad for dinner. I tossed and turned all night.
Spiders
Imagine if spiders screamed when you found them!
Arm and Leg
I ACCIDENTALLY PAID FOR MY MEAL with my organ donor card. My dinner cost me an arm and a leg.
Scandinavian
I have been working on a Scandinavian joke. It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now, there is just Norway.
Apple Seed
Just choked on an apple seed. This is what I get for trying to eat healthy. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups don’t pull this nonsense.
1st Date
If you don’t know what to talk about on a first date, try mentioning Global Warming It’s a huge Icebreaker
Donation
A guy knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool… I gave him a glass of water.
Right
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.